One issue I have encountered in my past and perhaps present relationship(s) with the opposite sex has been trust issues. Not because I am found wanting or doing something wrong, it just happens that the ladies involve either lack healthy self-esteem or just feel I am too good to be true. The Mail I shared last week on Real Talk With Tee Check it out here shows that people really are getting jealous over nothing. Why will a lady get jealous because she feels her boyfriend is too handsome or industrious, just because she feel he is a “Ladies man” that other ladies might take him away from him? I am not really understanding this.
Let me welcome you to another Episode on Real Talk With Tee. Thanks to everyone who commented and provided solutions to the mail sent in by the young lady of last week, I really appreciate. There is one comment that I wish to share here as the topic of today, and that’s that of one Miss Berkey. She literally spoke my mind and more, so I will be featuring her comment on today’s episode. Enjoy guys.
I’ll talk about this topic in depth because I’ve gone through it so I know firsthand how this situation feels like. Ok in life there should be a balance to everything. I know most people always have this quote when the issue of jealousy pops up, “God is a Jealous God,” lol that’s true considering what you don’t love you don’t protect, meaning what you love you protect.
However, love is in a class of its own. I believe that when you love someone and you know this person loves you as well, without doubt, there will be little to question in that relationship. Most people also say ‘if your partner does not get jealous about you then something is wrong’. That’s not true, like I earlier stated I’ve been through this so I’ll use myself for example; I’ve been in relationships were I was utterly jealous about my partner being around other women to even answer their calls, but that’s because somewhere deep inside I didn’t believe that he truly loved me the way I did (which turned out to be true ) But when you’re with someone you’re sure of Mehn you’re at peace and wouldn’t even consider anything jealousy. And that’s why sometimes jealousy is justified: If your partner has had an affair and or has betrayed your trust, in most cases, that is a serious issue.
If you are jealous because you’re involved with someone who doesn’t seek monogamy, while you do, then your jealous feelings may be a good reason to leave the relationship and seek someone whose relationship goals are more compatible with yours. But when you get jealous over “stupid things,” you’re not showing love; sometimes it could be that you’re revealing your own insecurities.
How should you deal with jealousy?
Avoid situations that are likely to arouse false suspicions. If you tend to monitor your partners’ social media activities it’s time to quit. The more you snoop, the more you would find evidence to worry about, leading to even more spying, and creating a vicious cycle of increased monitoring and jealousy.
Work on yourself. Work on building your confidence in yourself and your relationship. Just know that you’re enough and build your self-esteem. Most times Jealousy could stem from the fact you think you’re not everything he wants or you lack something, no you’re enough, I mean you’ve been with him what, 2years Now?
Communicate with your partner. If you are experiencing jealousy, talk about it with your partner— but the way you talk is key: If you express anger or sarcasm, or hurl accusations at your partner, that’s not going to help. You must be direct, but not hostile. Calmly explain your feelings and discuss how to find a solution. This will enable you to be more satisfied and prevent your partner from being confused by your jealous behavior. Most times a Jealous situation needs some level of understanding and assurance from the other person.
But if all these fails, and you still feel the need to be Jealous is time to move on from that relationship because is one of two things; either your gut feelings really knows that your partner isn’t a 100% committed in that relationship and he gives you reasons to be doubtful (which probably is usually the case, sometimes our gut feelings tell us the truth more than we know) if this is the case, is better to move on because the jealousy would only increase and turn ugly, could even transcend to Obsession. Because in a relationship that both parties are truly committed and I can’t overemphasize on this there will be little or no jealousy. And little jealousy is ok, is healthy. Secondly, if you’re sure your partner is very committed and you still feel the need to be jealous work on yourself, or again, take a break to sort yourself out.
These communication strategies are most likely to bring out positive responses in your partner and get you to know the way forward in your relationship. Best wishes xo.
Tee thanks for putting this topic out there many people are struggling with it, men included. This would go a long way to help. As always well done.