Real Talk With Tee

Should Your Partner Be Your Best Friend?

I won’t be fair to you all if I start today’s episode of Real Talk With TEE without first apologizing for my two weeks absence. I am going to spare you the long excuses and just go straight to say, it won’t happen again. Biko! I felt really honoured when I got some of your emails asking my whereabouts, I was even feeling like one superstar *wink*. Anyways, thank you for checking in and for your support and love.

Just last week Tuesday, I had the rare privilege of having Real Talk With Tee live in Enugu at a corps members Forum. It was an interactive session where I had two corps members a male and a female as my guests, and we dealt with some issues as regard relationship. One of the issues we discussed is worthy to be stress and written about as my awesome new friend Motunrayo brought it to my attention again last night. Motunrayo suggested me to talk about issues surrouding having a best friend (opposite sex) when you are in a relationship. During the live show, the point that got be disturbed was the notion that your partner must be or should be your best friend and that didn’t go down completely well with me, and as you know, all opinions are valid and important and they must be welcome.

With the above introduction, let me officially welcome you to, Real Talk with Tee…

With my few years of experience in relationship thingy, I have come to the conclusion that having a romantic partner to do life with is awesome and not just awesome, it makes life even more stress-free. You get to have great sex, go on dates, cuddle, and face life’s challenges together.

But being in a romantic relationship isn’t everything, and it goes without saying that just because you’re in a relationship, doesn’t mean your partner has to be your best friend or your go-to person for everything. They absolutely should be someone with whom you have a friendship with, apart from a romantic dynamic, but if your partner isn’t your best friend, or you feel like there are certain life things you’d rather go to other people for guidance on, do not stress! Contrary to popular belief, your Partner doesn’t have to be your best friend. At the end of the day, you need a best friend who you aren’t sleeping with, and that’s totally OK.

I have also heard people say “Marry your friend or date your friend”, I sincerely do agree with that and I am not in any way trying to counter that, what I am trying to say is that it doesn’t mean anything is necessarily wrong with your relationship if your partner doesn’t feel like that bestie you can tell every and anything. I have some friends and you should be sure that I have one or two I can tell everything and anything than the others, it doesn’t mean they are not my friends.

If you and your partner are super close and you feel like you can talk to them about everything, then that’s awesome! But it also isn’t completely necessary. In fact, “there are some things that don’t need to be shared in romantic relationships that are more appropriate to share in friendships. I strongly believe that they are topics that aren’t meant for your partner but are meant for someone else are the key to narrowing down who your best friend is!”

Maybe you don’t tell your partner about the lady you meant the other night throwing herself on you or the sex dream you had about your ex last night or probably the night you masturbated. That’s fine, and that’s where your best friends come in. Your partner doesn’t need to be your go-to for everything. They might not always be willing to listen to you moan about every news and innovations you have; I feel it’s normal to feel like there are certain things reserved for a best friend who knows and understands you in a different way irrespective of their gender.

Additionally, you might need the love and expertise of your bestie every now and then. “Your personality is complex and you will always need support from different individuals in different situations,” Rogers says. “Plus, romantic relationships are inherently more complicated — there are deeper sensitivities, expectations, and challenges. While friendships can have great depth, they don’t have the same emotional complexities. Which means, people tend to speak more freely with friends, and that’s healthy! Hence why it’s normal to have a best friend who isn’t your significant partner so you can feel the bliss of speaking your mind without the same kind of repercussions.”

As long as you and your partner “both feel loved, respected, and like your needs are being met in your partnership, then all is well,” dating coach John Keegan tells Elite Daily. Of course, it’s important to have a partner who cherishes what you have to say and wants to share what’s important with you. But don’t feel bad if there are things you’d rather do or topics you’d rather talk about with someone other than your partner. That’s just a normal part of having relationships, in general, and you’re doing just fine.

Thank you for joining me today and I hope you had an awesome read. Please, I will love to hear from you, send in your comments and opinions.

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